Household Services

I am extremely helpless when it comes to maintaining my house. I depend on "service people" to come over and do two vital things in my house.
 
1. Fix something
2. Make me feel like a complete loser.
 
House hold service people use even more confusing language than people who works in big companies. At least the jargon in big companies is a language that can be understood by a few people in the department. Service people, on the other hand, seem to develop their unique language while driving around in their trucks all alone. As far as I can tell, the language is some combination of traffic noises, bodily emanations, and snippets from talk radio all rolled into one. I had a service person install some telephone wiring in my house recently, and a conversation with him went like this:

Wire Guy: The line loops to the outside patch then goes live from the cable to the scormet.
 
Me: What's a scormet? And which line are you talking about?
 
Wire Guy: That's what patches into the live cable wire from the blue wires, unless you want it to be the orange ones. It's up to you.
 
Me: Geez. Why should I care what color the wire is? And what the hell is a scormet?
 
Wire Guy: Okay, we'll go with the blue. But don't complain later when you wish you'd said orange.
 
Me: Why? Why orange? What's the difference? And what's a scormet?
 
Wire Guy: The scormet is connected to the orange directly. That's my point.
 
Me: YOUR POINT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU ARE SAYING. WHAT POINT??
 
Wire Guy: So, we'll go with the blue wire. I'm sure you know best.
 
So now my scormet is wired to something or other and all I know is that everytime the phone rings my shower comes on. I'd call the wire guy back to have it fixed, but I can't go through that experience again.